When You're Gone
by ThreePointOneFour
Summary: Somewhat AU future fic. Joan contacts old friends for support after the death of someone close to her.
1. Chapter 1: Adam

Author: 3.14 (pi) Summary: Joan turns to an old friend after the death of someone close to her. Spoilers: none really, this is a somewhat AU future fic with little reference to current goings on. Reviews: please, I don't normally write so any criticism is appreciated. Authors notes: I've got a couple more chapters on paper, but I'll only type them up if people have an interest in reading them, or if someone wants to beta them for me (my writing is out of practice and might need some help, besides I wrote this at like 3 am). Thanks for reading this far, now on to the story:  
  
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Jan 11, 2016 Dear Adam,  
  
I don't know what made me pick up this pen and write your name at the top of the page, I meant to write a letter to Grace Polk. You guys still keep in touch right, I never asked her, but both of you still live in Arcadia so I assume you talk. A lot has happened since I saw you last, that's kinda why I was writing Grace. See, there was this new stem cell thing being done to help paraplegics, and Kev insisted on getting the procedure. He wanted to walk, to run, to feel. The procedure went fine at first, then something went wrong. The doctors explained it a million times, but I still don't understand, something went wrong is all I know. He lapsed into a coma, bad reaction to the anaesthetic or something. Kevin didn't wake up and he never will - he's dead, he died. On the upside, the procedure worked, he showed no signs of paralysis before he died, guess the procedure should go well for everyone else - just not my brother.  
  
People wonder why I'm so mad at God, they think I'm crazy cause I call Him a snippy bastard. I ask Him to fix my brothers legs, and He does, but He never lets Kev use them, instead He takes him away from a wife and two kids who need their dad. Samantha's only 5 and Alexander's 7 and just learning to play sports like his dad.  
  
Luke and I are doing our best to help his family, and Dad's taking it really hard. I think Kevin was always his favorite - the normal one. Now all he's got is the Rocket Boy and the subdefective. I wish I knew how to make everyone feel better, but cheery jokes and sage advice was always Kev's department. Me and Luke are really gonna miss him - now who'll help Luke find a proper woman? It took him forever to get over his thing for Grace (he called it a thing, I called it mad, mad love) and now he's started dating this science nerd. She's totally wrong for him - too much science in his life already. She totally reminds me of Glynis, from AP chem, remember how stupid Glynis was for my brother? I miss those high school days. At the time I thought life sucked, what with adjusting to Kevin's accident and moving and all. I should have enjoyed what I had - I never thought I would loose it all.  
  
Sorry for going on and on, but you always understood, and you were always there for me when I was hurting (unless I was hurting cause you weren't there). I miss Kev. I miss him a lot. And it got me thinking about other people I miss. my mom, my dad who I almost never talk to since mom's been gone, and you. Some things I can't fix, but others I can at least try.  
  
Why didn't we keep in touch after high school, was what happened between us really bad enough to ruin a friendship over? I always thought we were great friends, but sometimes it seemed like you didn't think so. Like you thought something was missing (and I'm not talking about romance). More like you thought I didn't trust you. I did, I still do. You were my best friend, and I still think of you that way even now. I know you went to New York to pursue your art, but I lost track of you after that, all I know is you're back in Arcadia now, I never asked Grace about you - didn't want her feeling caught in the middle and getting pissed at us both.  
  
Anyway, thanks for reading, just writing to you has made me feel better, the way talking to you used to. Please write back, I really do miss you.  
Love  
Joan Girardi (P.S. yeah it's still Girardi, I never did find the right guy) 


	2. Chapter 2: Dear Jane

Author: 3.14 (pi)  
  
Summary: Joan turns to an old friend after the death of someone close to her.  
  
Spoilers: none really (only small references), this is a somewhat AU future fic with little reference to current goings on  
  
Reviews: please, I don't normally write so any criticism is appreciated.  
  
Authors notes: I've got a couple more chapters on paper, but I'll only type them up if people have an interest in reading them, or if someone wants to beta them for me (my writing is out of practice and might need some help, besides I wrote this at like 3 am). Thanks for reading this far, now on to the story:  
  
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Jan 19, 2016  
  
Dear Jane,  
  
It's been so long, yo. I've missed you too, and I was totally sorry to hear about Kevin and your mother. Kevin was a nice guy, and he did give really good advice, but not half as good as Mrs. Girardi - she was like a mom to me back when we were friends. I mean, cha, she read my mom's note to me and everything. You're right - life supremely sucks - and if there is a God (which I guess there must be, I do believe in angels, after all) he is a bastard like you said. Hope your family is doing okay despite it all, I know how hard it is to loose someone.  
  
A lot has happened since grad. I went to college after all, learned a lot about art, yo. Guess you were right about staying in school. I met my wife Ellie in class - her name's really Elizabeth like my mom, I thought that was cool. We got married senior year and had a baby girl a year after that. She left three years ago, on the baby's 2nd birthday. Said she couldn't handle the two of us any more, but I know she meant me. We were divorced a little after that and I have full custody of our daughter - she gave up her parental rights - doesn't want to be a mom. Anyway, the kid and I do all right.  
  
I've enclosed with this letter a business card with all my numbers on it, call if you ever need to talk. I'll always be here for you. You were one of my best friends too - you and Grace. I did always wish for more between us, but you didn't want that and I accepted it, yo. It didn't mean I didn't think we were friends. Cha, that was totally not what I was trying to say. Anyway, please call or write again, maybe we can even see each other if you're in Arcadia. I really miss you, plus, then you could meet the love of my life - baby Janey (she hates when I call her that " I'm not a baby Dad, I'm five!").  
  
Hope to hear from you soon,  
Love,  
Adam Rove 


	3. Chapter 3: Grace

Author: 3.14 (pi) Summary: Joan turns to an old friend after the death of someone close to her. Spoilers: none really (only small references), this is a somewhat AU future fic with little reference to current goings on Reviews: please, I don't normally write so any criticism is appreciated. Authors notes: Sorry it took so long to post this, I have 6 chapters on paper, but I type slowly and only get to use the computer on weekends. Hope you enjoy, this is the last of the letters and I don't know if you'll like the rest as much, it's an entirely different style. Thanks for reading this far, now on to the story:  
  
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Jan 19, 2016  
  
Grace,  
  
Cha, why didn't you tell me Mrs. Girardi died? You know what she meant to me. Anyway, that supremely sucks. I got a letter from Joan, after Kevin's funeral, I guess. She was really upset and missed her old shoulder to cry on or something. I'm glad she wrote cause I missed her too. You never should have let us drift so far apart. As our best friend it was your duty to lock us in a basement, for our own good. Make us work out our problems. Anyway, I guess it's not your fault we fought, and we're kinda talking now, so it all turned out ok. If we hadn't had that fight, I never would have run off to school, never would have met Ellie. Some heartache I coula lived without, but then I wouldn't have Janey either. Speaking of, she's calling for her Daddy. Gotta go, yo.  
  
See you soon,  
Adam  
  
*****  
  
Jan 27, 2016  
  
Grace,  
  
What the hell, why didn't you tell me that Adam got married - and had a kid! I know you guys keep in touch, and that's the sort of thing I would have liked to know. And he went to college and studied art - that's great. I knew he had to stay in school.  
  
Luke says hello, he's still seeing that girl, the one I hate. So if you feel like giving him a call, finally giving love a chance or whatever, he still totally wants you, he probably always will. Silly boy fell hard that firs time and never really got over it. Then again, I know you liked him too - why not finally give it a go, huh Polk? The dog needs to go for a walk, so that's my cue to wrap up. I'll call soon and we can make plans to have lunch or something.  
  
See ya soon,  
Joan  
  
Next chapter: no more letters! 


	4. Chapter 4: Mail Call!

Author: 3.14 (pi) Summary: Joan turns to an old friend after the death of someone close to her.  
  
Spoilers: none really (only small references), this is a somewhat AU future fic with little reference to current goings on. This was almost all written before State of Grace, so no references past there.  
  
Disclaimer: Duh, none of the stuff you recognise is mine – it belongs to CBS, Hall, et al. Anyone you don't recognise is a product of my so called imagination.  
  
Reviews: please, I don't normally write, so any criticism is appreciated. If you have any suggestions to improve this chapter - tell me.  
  
Authors notes: Sorry it took so long to post this, I have 6 chapters on paper, but I type slowly and only get to use the computer on weekends. It may be even longer till I can post more, school is picking up so I have less time to type stuff not class related. Also, sorry bout the formatting or lack thereof. Hope you enjoy this chapter, from now on it's an entirely different style. Thanks for reading this far, now on to the story:  
  
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Grace Polk walked to the curb to check her mail. A surprising number of people stuck to the old ways of doing things (like writing letters) and life sure wasn't like on that ancient cartoon The Jetsons. Everything was pretty much the same as it had ever been. Grace couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen a flying car. The old ways worked fine, so why change.  
  
As she stuck her hand into the mailbox, Grace was shocked at the amount of mail inside. Upon closer inspection it was mostly junk, but she did have two letters from her best friends. Adam and Joan, her closest friends and the biggest pains in her butt. The two had been in love since like, forever. The only problem was neither of them could admit it, and after some big fight at a party after high school grad, the two didn't talk anymore. Neither one ever wanted to talk about what happened, and now they act like they've forgotten, about the fight, about each other, whatever. Grace tries her best not to dwell on the problems between them. She has enough trouble keeping up with their individual lives.  
  
Grace shivers as she heads back inside, mail clutched in one hand. Although it's sunny, it's still January in Maryland. As she sits down to open the letters from her friends, Grace notices that Adam's letter has an older postmark. Must have gotten lost in the mail - so much for the reliability of the old fashioned system. Grace decided to read it first, it was at least a week older after all.  
  
When she was through reading both letters, Grace thought she might pass out from shock. Her friends had actually spoken to each other, well not spoken so much as written, but still. They were communicating, and that was a good thing, even if they tried to get her involved in it all. Grace loved her friends and wanted to see them happy, and if that meant she had to deal with their complicated relationship, then so be it.  
  
One thing in Joan's letter caught her eye, and Grace went in search of her old address book. There was an old 'friend' she'd been meaning to call. Joan was right, there was something between Grace and Luke, and from what Joan had told her over the past month Grace doubted his current girlfriend was any good for him. Besides, Adam was right – Grace owed him years of back meddling, and if she were going to pay up she'd need Geek Boy in on it with her.  
  
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I'll try to get some more chapters typed as fast as I can and in the meantime I can start to write Ch. 7 on paper - anyone got any ideas on where this should go? Seriously, I totally lost my train of thought as to where this was going so e-mail any ideas to lemonlymandotcom@hotmail.com thanx. 


	5. Chapter 5: Calndestine Ops

Author: 3.14 (pi) Summary: Joan turns to an old friend after the death of someone close to her.  
  
Spoilers: none really (only small references), this is a somewhat AU future fic with little reference to current goings on. This was almost all written before State of Grace, so no references past there.  
  
Disclaimer: Duh, none of the stuff you recognise is mine – it belongs to CBS, Hall, et al. Anyone you don't recognise is a product of my so called imagination.  
  
Reviews: please, I don't normally write, so any criticism is appreciated. If you have any suggestions to improve this chapter - tell me. Also- I seem to have lost all motivation to write, so reviews might prompt something in that department (or at least get me working harder on typing what I have written). This was both written and typed in the wee hours of the morning, so I apologise for any glaring errors of the spelling or grammar variety. As well as for my utter lack of style, wit, or writing ability of any kind (don't know how I pulled off that A on my English final).  
  
Authors notes: Sorry it took so, so long to post this, I have like 7 chapters on paper, but I haven't gotten to use the computer because of schoolwork and my home life kinda imploding. It may be even longer till I can post more (sorry) but I only get to use the computer when I stay with my mom, and we've not been getting along (translation- she threw me outta her house). Also, sorry bout the formatting or lack thereof. Hope you enjoy this chapter, cause I kinda hate it, as well as my characterisations of Luke and Grace. Oh well, thanks again for reading this far, now on to the story:  
  
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Whoa, I just got a call from Grace, Grace Polk. The Grace Polk, the girl I was crazy for in high school. She wants to get together this Saturday for dinner. She said something about it being Joan's idea; I wonder what that was about. Joan hasn't mentioned anything to me, and we talk all the time.  
  
We're only a year apart, so we've always been close, but ever since the death of our big brother early last year, we've been each other's support. Not to mention we both try our best to help Kev's family. I spend as much time with my niece and nephew as I can, helping them with homework and such. Their mom even mentioned she's thinking of transferring them to my school - you know, so that I can keep an eye on them. I never would have thought I'd end up teaching at an elementary school. I was going to become a professor at MIT, but then I had so much fun helping out with Alex when he was small, and here I am – teaching fourth grade.  
  
I better tell Amy that I'm meeting an old family friend for dinner on Saturday. Though there's no reason to mention the feelings I once had for said friend is there? I mean, it would only upset her and it's not like there's anything to be upset over. I don't still have feelings for Grace, not after all these years.  
  
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Forget everything I said about 'not after all these years', I'm obviously an idiot masquerading as a brilliant mind. Grace looks amazing, and all those feelings I thought were gone just came rushing back. I guess I must have had them all along, tucked away someplace I try my best to ignore. She looks the same as she always did – same hair, same rebel look, the only thing missing is her leather jacket. She really looks good, almost like she's deliberately trying to impress me. But that's probably just wishful thinking of some kind, Grace always did her best to deny any interest in me. She was interested though, just really good at denying it all. So good that nothing ever happened between us, and I eventually gave up hope (Joan would say eventually's a bit of a stretch, but what does she know - she's still holding a torch for Adam Rove).  
  
And now I'm with Amy, who's sweet but no Grace Polk. Grace is far from sweet, and I think I like that about her. Maybe I should excuse myself to go call Amy, we really need to 'talk', we've needed to for quite a while. She's only interested in my scientific mind, and I want more than that in a relationship. Besides, I want nothing to stand in the way if Grace is finally interested (after all, I apparently hold a torch just as well as my sister).  
  
I guess I don't need to rush off and break up with Amy after all. Grace just wants to talk about Joan. Joan and Adam to be more precise. Seems they've finally gotten around to talking again and now Grace wants my help in making sure they stay talking. I want to say no, but when I think of how happy Joan used to be hanging out with Adam, I find myself saying yes. I love my sister, and if I need to scheme with Grace to see her happy, then scheme I shall. Clandestine ops are my speciality after all.  
  
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A.N: I'll try to get some more chapters typed as fast as I can and in the meantime I can hopefully start to write Ch. 8 on paper - anyone got any ideas on where this should go? Seriously, I totally lost my train of thought as to where this was going (all I remember was I wanted to do a chapter with Janey) so e-mail any ideas to lemonlymandotcom@hotmail.com thanx. 


	6. Chapter 6: Pop!

Author: 3.14 (pi) Summary: Joan turns to an old friend after the death of someone close to her.  
  
Spoilers: none really (only small references), this is a somewhat AU future fic with little reference to current goings on. This was almost all written before State of Grace, so no references past there.  
  
Disclaimer: Duh, none of the stuff you recognise is mine – it belongs to CBS, Hall, et al. Anyone you don't recognise is a product of my so called imagination.  
  
Reviews: please, I don't normally write, so any criticism is appreciated. If you have any suggestions to improve this chapter - tell me. Also- I seem to have lost all motivation to write, so reviews might prompt something in that department (or at least get me working harder on typing what I have written). This was both written and typed in the wee hours of the morning, so I apologise for any glaring errors of the spelling or grammar variety. As well as for my utter lack of style, wit, or writing ability of any kind (don't know how I pulled off that A on my English final).  
  
Authors notes: Sorry bout the formatting or lack thereof. Hope you enjoy this chapter, cause I think it's my favourite, and due to drastic changes in direction, it's now the end of what I have written. This means that you basically know as well as I do where this story is going. It will probably be a while till I write more because a) I'm not a writer and b) I lack motivation or direction (although reviews could change that). I do intend to finish the story though, so don't give up on it yet, I can't go leaving my one and only foray into the writing world incomplete. (Especially since my friend, with little writing skill, is churning out the best story I've ever read. I'm green with evil envy). Thanks again for reading this far, now on to the story:  
  
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The large mastiff tore wildly through the park, his leash trailing behind in the wind. The playground was quite full for this time of year, owing to unseasonably warm weather coupled with the fact that there were always more kids there during school holidays. There were even some kids playing baseball and a clown selling balloons, both of which were usually left to the summer months, and not the middle of March. The dog weaved frantically around several children on his mad dash to god knows where. He had been sitting calmly just moments ago, when a small child nearby fell and popped the large bright red balloon she'd been holding. The big chicken of a dog got spooked by the sound and took off on his rampage through the sandbox and the flower beds (or former flower beds), pulling his owner right off her feet as he went.  
  
"Linc! STOP! Come Linc! ...Lincoln – come here right now!"  
  
The dog began to slow his run through the park, turning his ears back toward the voice. Slowly, he turned around, and began calmly loping back to where he had stood only moments before. His petite owner had picked herself up from the ground, and proceeded to wipe one of her dirty palms on the dog while grabbing his lead firmly in the other. She looked around sheepishly at the kids and their parents, all of whom were staring at her and Linc.  
  
"Linc, you big goof, It was just a balloon!" Joan Girardi joked, laughing as she scratched behind her dog's big floppy ear. She was so focused on petting the dog, praising him for coming when she called, that she didn't even notice a little girl coming to stand behind her, watching. It was the young balloon owner. A young girl who looked to be about six years old, with pigtails and mismatched clothes. None of the mothers sitting on the near-by benches paid her any mind. She didn't belong to one of them, and despite the fact that she was too young to be there alone, she seemed to have no one with her. The child suddenly spoke, startling Joan and causing her to turn in surprise and recognition. "It's good to laugh, Joan. You haven't really done that in a while." The voice sounded wise beyond it's very few years, something that seemed to anger Joan. "This is a new look for you, well, a really old one really. Haven't seen you in a while. And in case you weren't paying attention, I don't mean the little girl." Joan glared down at the child, who just stared back through large eyes framed by goofy glasses. As her anger level grew at the lack of response, Joan's volume level increased to a very muted shout. "Where were you when I needed you?" she hissed, "I'm finally putting my life back together so you decide to show up?"  
  
"Now, Joan, I've been around and you know it. Not just in an omnipresent kinda way either."  
  
"Sure, you showed up once, after the fact, and only to give me another of your missions, quests, whatever you want to call 'ems. You didn't even try to help me with my pain – Snippy Bastard!" This last bit was especially hushed to keep from corrupting the young minds of the parks other occupants, too young to know how to swear.  
  
"Of course I helped, Joan. You wrote Adam, like I said. That helped a lot, didn't it? Plus, I helped old Lincoln here give you a good laugh just now, didn't I? Speaking of Linc, he really is a great dog. Really boosts your spirits, having him around. You're not the only one who's spirits could use a lift, Joan. Kevin's kids could use a little cheering up. Spending time with their only aunt and a great dog like Linc could really help that."  
  
"So, what – you kill their Dad but you still want them to be happy? You're The almighty being, you couldn't have saved Kevin and spared them the pain to start with? You..."  
  
Joan stopped talking as she realised that the little girl, who only she knew to be god, was already walking away. As she left, littlegirlgod called back, "have fun Joan," and waved casually over her shoulder. She left without so much as a glance back at the young woman or her canine companion. Sighing exasperatedly, Joan patted her dog on the head and began walking home. Apparently, she had a trip back home to Arcadia to pack for. Something told her she shouldn't pack light – she might be staying for a while.  
  
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A.N: In case you wondered, Lincoln was the result of a task Joan was assigned a while back, and thus is a direct result of her communicating with the almighty. He, as a dog, was instantly a necessary character, as all good stories have pets. Plus, his name is the same as one of my (6) pet rats and Joan of Arc's best friend in the excellent but little seen cartoon Clone High. This is cause my rat Lincoln is my BF, Abe is Clone Joan's (my little homage to obscure tv) and doggies are man's, so in my crazy logic it makes perfect sense for that to be the dog's name (plus it looked cool).  
  
A.N2: ooh, two in one day (well, overnight technically- I had to stay up to reset my system so I can start getting up like three hours earlier for Co-op). I'll try to get some more chapters typed as fast as I can and in the meantime I can hopefully start to write Ch. 7 on paper - anyone got any ideas on where this should go? Seriously, I totally lost my train of thought as to where this was going (all I remember was I wanted to do a chapter with Janey) so e-mail any ideas to lemonlymandotcom@hotmail.com thanx. 


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